I’ve never felt more depressed than I am now. Olivia avoided me for the rest of the week and she only talked to me to say thank you when I held the door for her. Even Yuna noticed her acting differently because she asked me if Olivia had finally left me alone.
“You can’t just sulk around all day.” Jimin said, laying down on my bed. “Plus, It’s a Saturday. We should be outside playing basketball or something.”
“I can’t.” I said simply.
“Why not? She’s over you dude. You gotta move on.” He says. “And it’s not like you two were dating and she broke up with you.”
“I know.” I sighed. “You’re right. Let’s go outside and play basketball. You should practice if you’re going to try out for the team.”
“Yes. I’m such an inspirational person.” He bragged as we walked to the garage.
“Taehyung.” My mom stopped me.
“Yes, mom?”
“Can you take out the trash please?”
“Yes mom.” I grabbed the garbage bag and took it outside to the garbage bin. “There. Jimin, grab the basketball.”
“Way ahead of you.” He bounced me the ball. “Didn’t you say Olivia lived close to you?”
“Yeah. She lives right there.” I pointed to her house. “It’s only three houses down from mine.”
“You should go say hi. I’m sure she’s not busy right now.”
“No.” I said, shooting the ball.
“Then I’ll go knock.” He ran towards her door.
“No stop!” I chased after him but he’s faster than me. He ran up to her door and rang the doorbell.
“Now you stand here and wait for her to answer.” He walks to the sidewalk. The door unlocks and slowly opens. I sucked in a breath. It was her mom.
“Hi, Taehyung.” She said. “If you’re looking for Olivia, she’s upstairs. I can call her down if you want.”
“No, that’s ok.” I said quickly. “Just tell her I said hi. And that umm…I hope she does well on the tests next week.
“Of course.” Her mom smiles at me.
“Ok.” I cleared my throat. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Bye now.”
“Bye.” She closed the door. I'm so stupid.
“Hey what’d she say?” Jimin asked as I walked towards him.
“ It was her mom. I told her to tell Olivia I said hi and that I hope she does well on the tests next week.” I rolled my eyes.
“You said that?” He laughed.
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I'm so stupid.”
“Nah. You’re just in loooove.” He teased me.
“Shut up.” I replied, bumping his shoulder. “Look, you can stay here tonight but you can’t be talking about Olivia the whole time, ok?”
“Ok.” He replies. “We should watch horror movies all night.”
“I can’t. I have to study tomorrow for the test on Monday. I’m behind.”
“Oh, right.” I sigh. “Well it’s nearly 6:30 and I’m starving. What’s your mom making for dinner?”
“How should I know? I’ve been with you this entire time.”
“Let’s go to your room then.” He ran upstairs.
“Honey.” My mom called from the kitchen.
“One second Jimin!” I called to him as I walked into the kitchen.
“What’s up mom?”
“Dinner will be ready in 15 minutes.”
“Ok. Thanks.” I ran up the stairs and found Jimin snooping on my phone.
“What are you doing?” I ask, leaning against the door frame. He looked up at me with a guilty look on his face.
“I was stalking Olivia on Instagram.” He admitted. I shook my head. She doesn’t even have social media. I chuckled.
“Well, did you find her?”
“No.” He sighed.
“She doesn’t even have social media. She said that it makes her feel inferior.” I smiled remembering the day she told me that. We were walking from school and I asked- after finally convincing myself to ask her- for her Snap. She saw my blushing face and told me that she didn’t have any social media. She laughed when she saw my face flush even more. Then she explained how social media made her feel inferior to other girls. And people cyber bullied her so she deleted it.
“Whatcha thinkin about?” Jimin smirked at me.
“Umm….”
“Olivia right?”
“Ok, fine. But I invited you over to get my mind off her and you’re not really doing a good job.” I glared at him.
“Sorry. But I know how much you lo-“
“You’re here to distract me. Not enhance the pain.”
“Sorry. Is your mom done with dinner yet?“
“Boys, dinners ready!” My mom called.
“Perfect timing.” I chuckled. “Beat ya done there.” I raced downstairs and he chased behind me. We’re so immature for our age. I sat at the table a second before him. “Loser.” I teased him.
“Only by a second.” He complained.
“Calm down boys.” My mom chuckled. “Here you go.” She handed us a steaming plate of kimchi chigae.
“Thanks mom.”
“You’re welcome.” She grabs her own plate and joins us. We sat in silence for a while until Jimin spoke up.
“Did you ever tell her about your dad?” He asked me out of the blue. My mom glanced awkwardly at me.
“Tell who?” She asked. “That one girl you were telling me about the other day? What was her name? Suzie or something?” I chuckled.
“Olivia.” I said. “And no, I didn’t tell her.”
“Is that why you’re so upset about this?” Jimin asked. I don’t understand why he can’t just leave this alone. But maybe he was right.
When I was 14, my dad left. He never said anything to us, he just left. Since then, I’ve had abandonment issues. I’m always scared to fully love someone, especially after Yuna and I broke up. Olivia was like a fresh breath of air, though. She made me feel something that I haven’t felt in a while. I’ve never told anyone about it except Jimin. He’s the only person who understands me.
“Maybe.” I said quietly.
“Wait, what happened?” My mom inquired.
“It’s nothing mom. It’s fine.” I replied quickly. “Please, just leave it alone.” I said, glaring at Jimin.