At the Springdale Community Center. Also known as…the shopping mall.
Once Katelyn walked up, she knew this simple mission would be easy: finding the perfect gift. The curious teenager kept her feline eyes out at every shop. There were many adorable finds. But none of them were jumping out to her. This made her wonder. What would Jeomjun like. On any day. Something that would make him run towards it or make his heart skip a beat?
“Maybe something to eat,” she said, “Oh, right! Ramen!”
She rushed to the nearest shop that sold different gift cards to other shops and restaurants, such as Starbucks, IHOP, Target, and Walmart! But in the middle of the small rack, she found a gift card to Jeomjun’s favorite ramen place.
After paying about ¢00.35, Katelyn decided to look for a few more gifts. She then found a little red heart box and looked inside. It’s filled with little chocolate truffles. It’s perfect!
She selected one of them and immediately ran to a nearby flower shop and found a perfect arrangement of roses and four-leaved clovers. And finally, she saw a little blank book with a blue leathered cover. It was embroidered and had small markings on each side. A perfect gift for Jeomjun as well!
The young girl smiled all the way home as she carried all of the gifts. She just couldn’t wait to present them to Jeomjun tomorrow. She went up to her room and began to wrap everything in a special box, with a shiny-colored wrapping paper. In each gift, there was a special bowtie around.
“Mi-Suna might not know this, but I was friends with Jeomjun before. I knew he liked me, but I was too shy for him. But then I’ll show him how much I love him!” she said as she finished wrapping.
Katelyn couldn’t help but think back to when she first met Jeomjun. They were both so shy and never spoke to each other. Then one day, they began to become friends and she started to have a huge crush on him. And so, tomorrow, Valentine’s Day was going to change all of that. At least… almost for the worst.
Meanwhile, Jeomjun and Mi-Suna were having trouble with whether to tell Katelyn or not about what had been going on between them. They knew she was their friend, but they didn’t have it in their hearts to reject her.
“I just………can’t stand seeing Katelyn so excited for tomorrow,” said Mi-Suna, pacing around the room, “She is going to figure that it won’t work out the way she thinks it will! I hate lying. And I hate knowing that Katelyn is going to be so heartbroken tomorrow. But it’s for her own good.”
“I wish there was a way to make this easier on her.”
“And I also hate that she is so sweet and innocent. She HAS to toughen up! She doesn’t deserve to be hurt just like that.”
“Toughen up? And make her a bully like you?”
“I’m not a bully!”
“Yeah, you’re being one now. Katelyn doesn’t know the real you yet.”
“Anyways, tomorrow, we have to tell her. Otherwise, it gets ugly.”
“It’s not fair. But…what else can we do?”
“I don’t know,” said Mi-Suna, “However, we are definitely telling her tomorrow.”
“You’re right. We can’t keep this any longer.”
.
.
.
The next day, at school, Katelyn was in class again. Her heart was beating faster than a champion runner. Katelyn was so nervous about giving Jeomjun her gifts. She looked over at him and smiled and Jeomjun himself looked over at her and smiled back. Katelyn felt so many butterflies in her stomach.
After class, she then went to her locker and retrieved the gifts that she wrapped the evening before.
He is going to be so surprised!
Jeomjun was walking with Mi-Suna, unexpected, when he saw Katelyn approaching. He noticed that she was carrying a few presents and his face softened. Mi-Suna glanced over to her and her eyes worried in concern.
“She’s going to do it.” she whispered.
“This is going to be the best Valentine’s Day EVER!” Katelyn said out loud.
“I think she’s going to confess!” Jeomjun shuddered.
“Oh, god!” Mi-Suna responded, “I really hope she doesn’t!”
Katelyn cleared her throat.
“Hey…Jeomjun…” she said, while blushing.
“Hey…” Jeomjun said, with no emotion.
“I got you a few things! Happy Valentine’s Day!”
Jeomjun’s eyes widened and he looks at the bag. Mi-Suna nudged him.
“Go ahead…” she whispered.
He opens the gift…
“I got you a gift card to your favorite ramen place–”
“Oh, Katelyn,” said Jeomjun.
“And, of course, a bouquet of flowers. Your favorite. Roses!”
“Katelyn–”
“And finally, some chocolates…and a journal! I hope you appreciate it!”
Jeomjun was speechless for a moment. He took the gifts from her and looked down at them. Mi-Suna watched with so much anticipation.
“Go on…” she whispered and mouthed.
Eventually, Jeomjun managed to say something.
“These are…so sweet…!”
“I know, right?” said Katelyn, “But you know what would be even sweeter…?”
“What?” he said as he raised an eyebrow.
Katelyn pulled Jeomjun close and kissed him on the cheek.
“This.” she giggled.
Jeomjun was was frozen. He couldn’t believe she just did that.
Why did she do that?
He felt his face burning with embarrassment. Mi-Suna, whose jaw was dropped, covered her mouth.
“Oh, my god!” she whispered.
Katelyn blushed.
“You don’t have to like me back,” she said, “But I just wanted to do that.”
But Jeomjun finally had his entire courage.
“Katelyn–”
“Well, there is no denying that you won’t reject my feelings for you…right?”
Jeomjun looked at her for a few more seconds. He wanted to tell her the truth but he couldn’t bear to hurt her. Finally, he sighed and looked down at the gifts. Mi-Suna noticed and nudged him.
“Jeomjun…” she snarled, “Tell her!”
“So, Jeomjun…” she said.
“Katelyn…” he sighed.
“Will you say yes?” Katelyn asked, with hope and sincerity in her eyes.
Jeomjun looked down at the gifts again and then looked up back at her.
“I’m sorry…” he said, softly.
“What?” Katelyn said, tilting her head.
“I’m sorry…” Jeomjun repeated, “But I can’t accept your feelings.”
Katelyn blinked, trying to process this.
“What do you mean?” she asked, frightened.
“I’m sorry,” Jeomjun dreaded, “I know this is going to hurt you…but I can’t like you back.”
Katelyn gasped, “You hate me?!”
“No, I don’t hate you.” Jeomjun said, “It’s just that…Mi-Suna and I…are dating.”
Katelyn’s face dropped.
“You- WHAT?!”
Jeomjun looked at her expression. Her brows were furrowed, her eyes were bulged, her lips were frowning, exposing a bit of her teeth, and her entire tone was anguished.
“I told you…” whispered Mi-Suna.
“No! That’s not possible!” Katelyn explained, “You were just friends yesterday!”
“We’re sorry,” said Mi-Suna, “But it’s true.”
Katelyn tried so hard to hide her hurt. But it was obvious that she really did like Jeomjun.
“Well…” she muttered, her voice breaking.
The bell rang. It was home time.
“We have to go.” said Mi-Suna, taking Jeomjun by the hand.
“I’ll keep the gifts,” said Jeomjun, “No matter what you do, I’ll still be grateful.”
Katelyn’s eyes brimmed with tears. She nodded her head and walked away, sniffling and whimpering so softly to herself.
She then went to her locker. The inside was filled with BT21 stickers and BTS photocards as posters. But her vision was blurry from the tears. She then wept, her head fitting inside her locker. She sobbed for a few seconds, until she heard Jeomjun’s voice.
“Katelyn?”
Katelyn then popped her head out from her locker and immediately wiped away her tears. She turned to him, faking a smile.
“Yeah?”
Jeomjun looked at the state of her. She did look as though she had been drunk. But not on alcohol. More like on a mocktail (a beverage that is a replica; example: iced tea, or a strawberry lemonade). He couldn’t stand seeing her so sad and felt more than guilty for hurting her so bad. You could tell that he had trouble speaking to her after all of that.
“I…I just want to say…”
“I’m the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen and that you’ll always remember me?” Katelyn said, folding her hands and fingers.
Jeomjun shook his head. Katelyn’s eyes saddened.
“I just came to tell you that I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t make it any better, but…”
“You know, it’s best if you were with someone you like, instead of being with someone who likes you.”
Jeomjun’s heart sunk.
“But…”
“But what? You lied to me, making me think that you were available! And even after telling me you really wanted to date Mi-Suna, my best friend…I won’t stop you from being truly happy.”
“Katelyn…” said Jeomjun, gently grabbing her hand and wrist, “I don’t want you to think I don’t care about you. Because I do.”
Katelyn rolled her eyes and smiled softly, “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not going to end up doing something horrible to myself. I’m not THAT clingy.”
“You promise?” Jeomjun asked.
“I promise you. I know you don’t like me the same way I liked you. But it’s not like I’m going to kill myself over you rejecting me in front of the school. I just wanted to confess and say what I feel about you, and to get it over with. I never expected anything from you.”
“Katelyn…I…”
“I’m actually…very happy that you love Mi-Suna. I’m very happy…for the both of you.”
.
.
.
But on the way home, Katelyn cried. Not even her usual Starbucks fix would cheer her up. Nothing would cheer her up at this point.
The moment she came home, the sadder she became. The rejection traumatized her to much, she wondered again about people. She didn’t know that she would actually be so fearful of others around her. She cried into her pillow, softly.
“Why do I have to like him?” she sobbed, “What did I do wrong? I should have gave him the gifts another day. But…my heart fluttered when he accepted them…oh!”
Katelyn laid down flat in her bed and cried herself to sleep. A few hours later, she woke up. The sun was already setting. She sat up and wiped away her remaining tears.
Meanwhile, Jeomjun came home and went straight up to his bedroom. He sat down on his bed and stared out the window next to it. He thought about everything and still had the guilt circling in his gut. He was so lost in thought, he could even hear her sweet voice. He laid back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t know what else to do. Until his phone notified him.
Mi-Suna: Heyy! You good?
Jeomjun looked through his cellphone screen and found Mi-Suna’s message and responded.
Jeomjun: I don’t think so.
Mi-Suna: Just what I thought. Look, what’s done is done. Katelyn will need some time to get over it.
Jeomjun: But she was so sad. I hate that I hurt her!
Mi-Suna: You didn’t do anything wrong. You can’t help who you like and who you don’t like.
Jeomjun: She was so excited and I had to break her happy heart.
Mi-Suna: Yeah…but it’s not like she can force you to like her.
Jeomjun: Yea…but still. I hate seeing her like this. I just feel so bad rn.
The next day at school, before the weekend, Katelyn was at her worst. Every ten minutes, she felt pressure in her throat and tears formed in her eyes.
Jeomjun noticed that Katelyn wouldn’t speak out the answer to a question in class. He noticed that she was a little different than before. She was usually so cheerful and talkative. Now she was shy and quiet and always looked like she was going to cry.
Katelyn then looked out the window, trying to hide her hurt some more.
Both Jeomjun and Mi-Suna looked over to Katelyn.
“You think she’ll be okay?” asked Jeomjun.
“I don’t know,” sighed Mi-Suna, “She hasn’t said anything at all today.”
“She must be getting worse.”
“I’d talk to her, but then that means we would still be trying to lead her on. Any other interaction will make it even more worse.”
“But it feels so wrong leaving her like this.”
“If you’re really that worried about her, then talk to her. I won’t stop you. But try to sound like you’re not leading her on. We can’t make her think that she did something wrong.”
At lunch, Katelyn roamed around the school by herself. She then sat down on the steps that were connected to the school amphitheater.
Well, she thought, Time for a new boy-toy.
She then spotted a beautiful boy. His hair was a silver blonde, his face was chiseled, his lips were soft and puffy, and his eyes were like crystals, sparkling in the dark. He even had a fine figure. He was Jake Shim, from the school orchestra.
At her locker, she encountered him. However, she was heavily frightened by his presence.
“Katelyn, right?”
Jeomjun’s ears perked up as he heard his voice. He then saw that another boy was speaking to her. Mi-Suna then entered and whispered:
“Who is that?”
“That’s Jake,” said Mi-Suna, “He is from the school orchestra. And he is known for being quite popular with the ladies.”
“Should we keep an eye on her?”
“No…that would make her uncomfortable. You do know how she reports the students.”
So far, Katelyn didn’t say a thing to Jake. Jake didn’t say much either. The bell then rang. Home time again.
“Well…I guess I’ll see on Monday.” he said, softly, as he walked away.
“T-T-T-T-T…” she stuttered.
Seeing her stutter made Jeomjun worry the most. She was being so nervous about another boy, and Jeomjun began to feel overprotected.
“I don’t like this,” he said, “I’m going to talk to her.”
“Be careful!” said Mi-Suna.
Jeomjun walked up to her locker and looked into her eyes with concern.
“I, uh…oh, um…”
Jeomjun noticed that she was struggling to even say a sentence. He felt bad for her. He never saw her act like this. He took a deep breath.
“I know that you like me and I’m sorry that I don’t feel the same way. I know I must have said that many times before. But I can’t help it.”
“Oh, right! I do like you! I remember now!” said Katelyn, cheerful.
Jeomjun was caught off guard. He didn’t expect her to be so casual about it. He stared at her for a few seconds before finally speaking again.
“You do…?”
“Yup! You don’t like me, I like you, we aren’t in love, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
Jeomjun was still surprised that she was still cheerful after him rejecting her. He expected her to be heartbroken and really upset, but she is not. He thought she was trying to hide her feelings.
“But I still feel bad for hurting you.”
“I…”
Suddenly, Katelyn’s voice trailed off. She couldn’t speak to him anymore. She then stuttered to herself.
I can’t speak anymore. Why am I so afraid of Jeomjun now…?
“You’re not upset with me, are you?”
“I’m fine,” said Katelyn, her voice breaking, “I’m just going to find someone new, I guess…”
She immediately walked away, sniffling and whimpering softly. It was official. Katelyn was heartbroken.
On the way home, she sobbed softly, covering her face with her hands. She was so upset that at first, she didn’t realize she bumped into Jake.
“Ow!” she exclaimed.
Jake then looked down at her and smiled softly.
“Katelyn…” he said, gently.
But Katelyn stuttered vigorously. She didn’t know what to say. She then tried to run away. But Jake gently catched her arm.
“Hey, where are you going?”
“U-Uhh…”
Jake gently held her hands. Katelyn’s grip was not enough to hold on, but Jake’s was too strong to let them slip out.
His hands are so big and so soft, she thought as her fingers nuzzled with his.
“Don’t be afraid,” he said, softly, “I won’t bite. I’m a nice boy.”
Katelyn’s hands slipped away and she covered her face with her arms. Jake pulled them away, gently touching her chin to make her look at him. He can’t help but notice how pretty she looked. He was shocked by how shy she was being and had never seen anyone like that before.
“Are you always this nervous around boys?”
But Katelyn stuttered, as if she couldn’t talk anymore.
“You know,” he said, “You’re really pretty. I don’t know why you’re so nervous.”
“H-huh?”
“You don’t have to be so shy. It’s okay to talk to me right now.”
Katelyn didn’t respond and her body began to tremble. Jake noticed that something was wrong. He was starting to become concerned.
“Are you all right?” he asked, “It seems like you’re about ready to have a panic attack or something.”
It took him a while, but Jake eventually figured out what was happening. Katelyn began to develop anxiety, a condition that one suffers from panic attack, such as the one Katelyn was about to have. But Jake was confused. Anxieties don’t randomly happen out of the blue. He thought that there was more to her story.
“Do you always have trouble talking to people.”
No!
“Uh-uh-uh-uh…”
Jake couldn’t help but feel so worried for her current situation.
“Look,” he said, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I think you should go and see a doctor.”
“Wha– I…I…!”
Katelyn became more upset. She was always nervous around doctors and hospitals. But never this nervous. This was confusing.
“It’s okay,” said Jake, “Calm yourself. I don’t know what your story is, but all I know is that you need to get help. Talk to someone about this.”
He then pulled her to his arms and half of his face touched her forehead. Katelyn felt his warm breath on her cheeks and his hands rubbing her hair and the roots of her head.
But still, Katelyn struggled to speak.
“Shhh-shh-shh…” Jake whispered, “It’s okay…you don’t need to speak right now. It’ll be okay. Just breathe in my arms. You’ll be fine.”
.
.
.
Katelyn arrived home. She went straight to her room and slammed the door. As she laid flat on her bed, she closed her eyes, trying to make sense of everything that had happened ever since Valentine’s Day. But everything wouldn’t make any sense.
She kept thinking of Jake and how he looked at her when she tried to run away. Embarrassed, she covered her face with a pillow and cried silently into it. She didn’t even notice her mother entering her room and sitting next to her. But she flinched when she felt her hand gently rubbing her ankle.
“Katie,” she said, softly, “You okay? Did something happen at school?”
But Katelyn stuttered. Her mother noticed that she was having a hard time speaking. She rubbed her shoulder and kissed her forehead.
“Sweetie, can you look at me?” she said, softly.
But Katelyn shook her head, crying. This made her mother worry. She couldn’t stand to see her own daughter suffer so much like this. She pulled her into a gentle embrace and rubbed her back.
“Honey, please talk to me,” she said, sympathetically, “I don’t want your dad seeing you like this.”
Katelyn shuddered, “I…I…have…”
“What sweetie? What is it? Did something happen at school? In fact, did something happen on Valentine’s Day? Or are you just emotionally wrecked?”
Katelyn pointed to her shaking finger to her heart. Her mother eventually figured out what she was trying to tell her.
“You fell in love, didn’t you?” she said, rubbing Katelyn’s head.
Katelyn nodded her head, whimpering.
I guess it was Jeomjun Kim. He must have rejected her or something.
“Do you have a crush on anyone? Did he reject you or something?”
Katelyn hesitated for a moment. She thought of Jake’s face. She thought of his puppy smile. He was much more considerate than Jeomjun ever was. She began to like him a lot more than a psychic. She whispered Jake’s name. Her mother was touched.
“You fell in love with Jake?”
Katelyn nodded wearily.
Her mother was trying to process this. She wasn’t sure what else to say. She knew that Jake was a good boy, but she was also aware that he may be older than her.
“How old is he?” she asked.
“S-s-six…teen.” Katelyn shuddered.
Katelyn’s mother sighed in relief.
“That’s not bad, he is only a year older than you.”
Katelyn didn’t respond and looked away. Her mother patted her on the back of her head.
“Tell me,” she cooed, “Do you think he likes you back? If he doesn’t, then that’s okay. There’s other guys that will definitely be perfect for you.”
“He…he likes me…” she stuttered again.
“That’s good,” her mother responded, “To be honest, I thought you were imagining things, like you do with your K-Pop idols. But he is a little older than you. I do advice you to be careful. This goes for him too.”
But Jeomjun was my first crush, Katelyn thought as she nodded her head, No…I couldn’t possibly.
“But if you don’t know how you feel exactly yet, it’s good advice to take some time to think about it. That way, it would be easier to decide if you really want to date Jake. And just so you know, I will support you all the way, no matter what.” her mother concluded.
Katelyn nodded, but she began to remember what happened during Valentine’s Day. when Jeomjun rejected her and began to date Mi-Suna. She then began to panic immediately. Her mother noticed her getting all worked up and pulled her into her arms again.
“It’s okay,” she shushed softly, “Just take a deep breath and relax. Nothing’s going to happen. Just try to stay calm.”
But her daughter’s body began to tremble and she whimpered loudly.
“Sweetie,” Mother called, “Can you try to tell me what’s wrong?”
But Katelyn couldn’t answer, she was so traumatized to speak.
“Honey, please tell me! You have to calm down!”
Mother noticed that she never acted like this before. She was always so socializing. But she was realizing that something affected her social abilities. Her mother began to think that she might have developed a social phobia.
“Oh, Katie,” she cooed, “You were always so outgoing and talkative. Not a hint of shyness in you. And now this… what happened to change all of that?”
“I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I…” Katelyn stuttered until she cried in her mother’s arms.
Mother had to help her. She had to know what was going on. She thought of the only way to help.
“Katie,” she said, softly, “This is a bit tough to say, but I think we’re going to talk to the doctor. I think maybe that’s our best solution to find out what’s going on.”
Katelyn’s eyes widened and she squealed in fear.
“I know it’s hard to talk about, but it’s the only way for me to find out what’s wrong. And for you to get help. I know you’re scared. Going to the doctor’s isn’t always the easiest thing.”
“And…therapist…?”
“We’ll see if you need one. But I think you don’t since I think you can work this out on your own. I’ll let you calm down and rest, while I look for the closest, and possibly available appointment for this afternoon.”
Her mother caressed Katelyn’s ankle one last time before leaving her bedroom. But Katelyn still whimpered and cried to herself on her pillow. She was both upset and confused. Why was she so scared of people? Why couldn’t she speak? Why was she so traumatized?