~ 1 ~
We broke up once when we were still dating each other. As Taehyung was often required to go on business trips that lasted for months, he had extremely little time to accompany me. As such, I was frequently left alone.
Once, I fell extremely ill and was suffering from a fever that rose to 42 degrees Celsius. As I was terribly worried that I would pass away from the fever, I forced myself to take a cab alone to the hospital.
…
There was another incident when I returned home after work, only to find that the water pipe in the kitchen had exploded, causing the entire house to be flooded with water, and half of the suspended ceiling to collapse. As such, I had no choice but to make a trip to the repair company by myself in order to employ repairmen to fix the house.
…
One night, I was forced to work overtime till the wee hours of the morning. As I was feeling extremely fatigued, I fell asleep on the bus, only waking up when the bus arrived at the bus depot. I was thus forced to walk along the road at 1 AM in the morning and only managed to grab a taxi after an hour. When I reached home, I opened the door, only to be greeted by a sea of darkness. When I put down my keys, it was as though I could hear the echo reverberate throughout the entire house.
My heart felt extremely empty – whenever I was happy, I had no one to share my happiness with, and whenever I was sad, I had no one to confide in. It was during these times when I would occasionally think that despite having a boyfriend, it was as though I had none. Even though I had come all the way to Seoul in order to accompany him, he’s never by my side in my times of need.
There was once I experienced a mental breakdown. If I recall correctly, it was our anniversary that day, and we had originally intended to spend the entire day together. However, Taehyung received a last-minute notice from his company, instructing him to go on an urgent business trip. As he was packing his luggage, I suddenly burst into tears. I knew that he was very ambitious, and I knew that he wasn’t in the position to reject the instructions given to him – I understood all these principles, but I simply felt wrong, and I desperately needed an outlet to vent.
Taehyung hugged me whilst allowing me to cry freely. When I finally stopped crying, he suddenly told me that if I truly experienced so much pain and disappointment when I was together with him, then we ought to go our separate ways. He was extremely calm and composed when he said this. Strangely, I was extremely collected at that precise moment and simply dried my tears before agreeing to his suggestion. Taehyung then speedily helped me hand over another year’s rent before removing his items.
That was how we broke up.
Two months after we broke up, upon receiving news that Taehyung had broken up with me, Lee Hyun-Joo flew into a rage and rushed over to look for Taehyung. Although Hyun-Joo originally intended to beat him up, she nearly couldn’t recognize him when she saw him – he was so haggard and wan that he could pass off as a zombie. When Hyun-Joo returned, she told me to reconcile with Taehyung, as the only reason why he broke up with me was because he couldn’t bear to see me suffer from so much pain and disappointment. Taehyung truly loved me – more than I could ever imagine.
My brother helped Taehyung along by providing him with various ideas. Seokjin Oppa told him that I was extremely soft-hearted and that as long as Taehyung could find an excuse to send me a message, Taehyung and I would reconcile before we knew it.
Finally, Taehyung sent me a message: “Originally, I wanted to remind you to wear an additional layer of clothing due to the cold weather, but…… Dammit, it has been bright and sunny the entire past week.”
As I read the message, tears flowed down my cheeks whilst a smile formed on my face.
Subsequently, Taehyung confessed that on the night that we broke up, he stood by the roadside, crying. It was the first time in his entire life that he felt utterly useless.
....
In the past, whenever I interacted with Taehyung, he was always the more aggressive and stronger party. It was only at that moment that I realized that everyone is equal in love, that Taehyung would also suffer from a lack of confidence, that Taehyung could also be afraid and weak at times, and that he could also be extremely careful in relationships because he wasn’t entirely sure how to go about loving another person.
I believe that love isn’t about one party leading the other. Instead, it’s about both parties slowly learning and growing together, until both parties reach a certain point when they feel secure and grounded in the relationship. If liking another party inspires in one a desire to share everything well with that person, then loving another party includes the additional element of being willing to share in the other party’s burdens and difficulties as well.
I know that the journey is extremely long, but thankfully, one’s lifetime is extremely long, and I intend on slowly learning and growing together with him.
~ 2 ~
One night, Taehyung attended a gathering organized by his company. In the middle of the night, I received a call from his colleague who explained that I would be required to pick Taehyung up as he was extremely drunk. Apparently, Taehyung refused to leave and was obstinately hugging the beer bottles whilst hollering for me.
I was at a loss as to whether to cry or laugh and simply hurried over after changing into a more appropriate outfit. As I was driving home, Taehyung sat in the front passenger’s seat and stared at me with his bight eyes. Whenever Taehyung is drunk, he morphs into an extremely cute little child and would answer whatever questions that are posed to him.
As such, I teased him, “Who are you?”
“Taehyungie!” He announced his name loudly.
“Then who am I?”
“Lily Collins!”
What? Is this brat even thinking straight?! “It’s impossible for Lily Collins to come and fetch you! I’d give you one more chance – who am I?”
“Audrey Hepburn!” He laughed goofily by showing his boxy smile.
I had no choice but to follow his train of thought, “Who’s prettier – Audrey Hepburn or Lily Collins?”
He shook his head vigorously, “Both aren’t pretty!”
“Oh? Who’s considered pretty then?”
“My wife!”
“Who’s your wife?”
“Y/N!”
Ah, I guess Taehyung wasn’t drunk after all.
When we reached home, I urged Taehyung to proceed with washing up. Taehyung refused to heed my advice, instead choosing to hug me and addressing me, “Wifey.” After hugging me for a period of time, he suddenly delved into a sentimental mood, “I have to treat you better.” When I asked why he thought that way, he replied, “You’re just a small little girl, but you chose to leave your hometown, and willingly suffered in a foreign land all because of me.”
I was extremely happy upon hearing his words, as he had addressed me as a 'small little girl’. Nowadays, whenever I meet young children on the streets, they would always politely address me as ‘Auntie’.
He was rather speechless, “Wouldn’t a normal person feel touched upon hearing the latter half of my speech?” He mulled over the issue for some time before concluding, “Ah, but my wife is simply so special and unique.”
I burst into laughter.
In actuality, I never ever felt as though I was forced to leave my hometown. Admittedly, when I first arrived in Seoul, I suffered a lot. At that time, I rented a house along with a few other tenants, and all of us were required to share the usage of the bathroom and the kitchen. During that period of time, my biggest wish was to have a separate bathroom that I could use independently. It was considered a luxury to have a bathtub in the bathroom, and I always felt that my life would be complete if my bathroom did indeed come along with a bathtub.
Furthermore, Taehyung and I were staying at opposite ends of Seoul during that period of time. As such, I would happily squeeze onto the subway after work every single day in order to meet him for dinner. Normally, Taehyung was required to work overtime till it was rather late in the night; thus, we usually settled our dinners at stalls set up near his company. Although there was a roadside stall selling delicious Soup in the vicinity of his company, Taehyung prohibited me from eating it, citing hygiene reasons as justification. Ah, Taehyung always has one or two odd things which he continuously persists in – for instance, he never ever takes medication whenever he catches a cold, and he never ever eats from roadside stalls. However, Taehyung ultimately relented in the face of my incessant nagging. After all, our careers had just begun to take off at that point in time, and both of us were rather cash-strapped.
When Taehyung first entered the workforce, he placed his trust in the wrong person and ended up being used as a scapegoat. At that time, he was saddled with a huge stack of debts and was nearly blacklisted in his profession. Desperate, Taehyung had no choice but to seek his father for help. Upon learning what had happened to Taehyung, Taehyung’s father transferred the money to Taehyung’s account without a moment’s hesitation. Taehyung told me that when he saw a message from the bank notifying him about the successful transfer, he felt extremely ashamed of himself.
Taehyung’s life had, up to that point, always been extremely smooth-sailing, and he had never encountered any setbacks or obstacles. As such, when Taehyung first got entangled in that mess, he was on the verge of a mental breakdown – not only did Taehyung frequently stare into space for hours, but he also suffered from insomnia every night. Whenever he was unable to sleep, Taehyung would crawl up from his bed and work like a maniac, only stopping in the morning when it was time for him to go to work. During that period of time, Taehyung survived with little to no sleep.
Subsequently, Taehyung told me that if it weren’t for my sudden appearance in Seoul, he would most likely have continued in that manic state for an extremely long period of time. Till today, I still feel extremely thankful and lucky that I was by Taehyung’s side during his darkest days. Before I arrived in Seoul, I had absolutely no idea that Taehyung was at the lowest point in his life. Had I known earlier, I would have come over earlier in order to accompany him.
One of the incidents that left an extremely deep impression on me was when Taehyung fell in love with a table lamp whilst we were shopping at IKEA. The lamp cost 799000 Won– as it was considered rather expensive for us during that period of time, we left regretfully without purchasing the lamp. When my salary arrived that month, the very first thing I did was purchase the lamp as a gift for Taehyung.
I told him, “I believe that the obstacles and difficulties which we’re currently undergoing are a necessary experience that we have to go through – being cash-strapped, suffering from high-stress levels, and the inability to achieve success……these are all events that everybody would experience. Thus, you don’t have to worry, and you don’t have to feel anxious. You can simply take it slow. Worst comes to worst, I’ll earn enough to take care of you for the rest of your life.”
Subsequently, Taehyung and I changed our accommodation several times, but the lamp always accompanied us.
Out of curiosity, I asked Taehyung a while ago, “Did I ever say anything that left a very lasting and deep impression on you?”
“When you offered to take care of me for the rest of my life.”
“Oh? Were you very touched then?”
He replied, “No, I was so angry I couldn’t fall asleep the entire night.”
“Why??”
“Even if one of us has to take care of the other, it ought to be me taking care of you. Don’t ever say such things again in the future.”
Ah, sometimes I truly fail to understand Taehyung’s temper.
~ 3 ~
As I woke up exceptionally early this weekend, I decided to head to the nearby grocery store to purchase some daily goods. When I left the house, the sky was extremely cloudy. With a heart filled with hope that I would be able to successfully return home before it rained, I decided not to bring an umbrella along with me.
Upon reaching the grocery store, I speedily purchased the necessary goods. However, just as I stepped out of the grocery store, the torrential rain began to pour. After waiting for a period of time, I decided to call Taehyung as the rain showed no signs of letting up. When I left the house earlier, Taehyung was still sleeping.
“Have you woken up?”
“What’s up?” Taehyung sounded as if he had just woken up.
“Could you come to the nearest grocery store to pick me up? It’s raining and I didn’t bring an umbrella.”
He muttered about my forgetful nature before hanging up the phone. As I stood at the entrance of the grocery store watching the rain gradually lessen, I started to feel pangs of regret for waking him up – I ought to have let him sleep in for a longer period of time.
Suddenly, I recalled a certain incident that occurred during Year 3 of High School. Similarly, it happened to be raining that day. As I had forgotten to bring an umbrella, I was doomed to stand at the school entrance, waiting for the rain to stop. During that period of time, my relationship with Taehyung was rather strained and awkward, as various people often teased him as being my ‘rumored boyfriend’. As I was rather introverted and shy, I was always terribly embarrassed and at a loss as to what to do whenever I got teased. As such, I tried my best to avoid him. Taehyung probably sensed that I was avoiding him, and gradually stopped talking to me.
That day, as I was standing below the roof of the school compound, I saw him and a bunch of other male students from walk out of the Science school building. Without a moment’s hesitation, I lowered my head and pretended as though I hadn’t seen him. When the huge group of students walked past me, I spotted Taehyung walking at the side of the group nearest to me. However, Taehyung didn’t greet me nor did he show any indication of having noticed me.
When the huge group had walked some distance away, I raised my head and gazed at his back, my heart filled with pangs of sorrow and melancholy. I can’t accurately describe the feelings I had at that point in time – it was as though I was harboring hopes that something special would happen as he walked past me, but at the same time, I also wished that nothing would happen. As I was watching his figure fade into the distance, his figure suddenly stopped. Taehyung abruptly turned back and ran towards me, stuffing his umbrella into my hands before running off amidst the group’s raucous laughter. Throughout the entire process, he never said a single word.
According to my memories, Taehyung was always quiet and silent during his youth. Frequently, my recollections of our interactions are akin to scenes from a silent movie. Although he never said a single word, I could always feel his presence – he was like a lamp that would never ever go out, always responsibly and dependably lighting up his surroundings.
Before long, Taehyung arrived at the entrance of the grocery store and pressed the car horn in an attempt to alert me of his arrival. He then began to park the car whilst simultaneously talking on his mobile phone. The moment I laid eyes on him, a sense of ecstasy overcame me, and I ran towards him in the rain. However, Taehyung frantically signaled for me to ‘go back – thus, I obediently returned to the entrance of the supermarket where I was sheltered from the rain.
Taehyung alighted from the car and began to walk toward me with an umbrella. When he reached me, he hurriedly ended his conversation on the mobile phone. Just as I thought that Taehyung was going to lecture me on failing to bring an umbrella along with me, he surprised me by asking, “Why didn’t you wake me up? I could have come along with you.”
“Since it’s a weekend, I wanted to let you sleep in for a longer period of time.”
During the trip home, I was unable to stop myself from staring at Taehyung. Taehyung was rather puzzled, “What are you looking at? I haven’t washed my face.”
“That’s strange. In the past, I used to think that you were only good-looking when you put on a suit. However, now that I look at you, even though you haven’t washed your face, haven’t combed your hair, and haven’t changed out of your sleeping attire, I still find that you’re extremely handsome.”
Taehyung was delighted, “Your husband is always handsome – regardless of how he dresses.”
All of a sudden, I declared, “I love you.”
He was momentarily stunned, “What’s up? Why the sudden declaration?”
“It’s nothing. I just suddenly felt like telling you that.”
The car was stuck on the congested road for a long period of time. Seoul’s roads are always congested, its air quality is terrible, and the city is compacted with massive crowds at every turn. However, despite the thousands of reasons I could list explaining why I dislike Seoul, I have nevertheless chosen to make my home here – all because of one single reason: the person I love is in this city.
Love allows us to gradually remove the sharp edges of our youth, and give each other the warmest and most gentle hug amidst the massive and congested crowd. I know that this is a world where everything is prone to change, but in all honesty, the person right before me has allowed me to have a glimpse of eternity.
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A/N: So, it is the second last chapter guys... how was it?... Did you all enjoy it?... WAITING FOR YOUR COMMENTS...
