“what's this mean?”
Kim SeokjinI ask angrily. I feel my heart race as I look at my girlfriend of six months Nari. She has gone completely pale while she trembles a little. She looks at the photos I shoved at her and I watch her gulp, clearly uncomfortable.
I ask angrily. I feel my heart race as I look at my girlfriend of six months Nari. She has gone completely pale while she trembles a little. She looks at the photos I shoved at her and I watch her gulp, clearly uncomfortable.
Nari ‘Jin, it’s… it’s not what you think. Let me explain.’
She says, stuttering as she tries to approach me. She goes to touch my arm but I shrug her off. I do it a little harshly but I can’t believe what is going on right now. I feel like the world is coming down and crashing on me.
Kim Seokjin ‘What? That you didn’t lie to me about being married?’
Kim SeokjinI ask, my voice raising. I feel the vein in my neck popping out as I feel the anger and hurt mixing together to create a dangerous concoction. My face is probably red as I feel the heat in my cheeks. In my pocket, I can feel my phone constantly vibrating as more and more notifications keep popping in.
I ask, my voice raising. I feel the vein in my neck popping out as I feel the anger and hurt mixing together to create a dangerous concoction. My face is probably red as I feel the heat in my cheeks. In my pocket, I can feel my phone constantly vibrating as more and more notifications keep popping in.
‘I didn’t lie about the way I feel about you Jin.’ She says, shaking her head. I scoff as I shake my own head. ‘Jin I’m being honest now. Yes, I lied but I do really care about you.’ She says.
‘No, you don’t. If you care about someone you don’t lie to them. You lied to me Nari. You told me you were single when I asked you out. You told me you were not in a relationship and now, now I found out that you’re *ing married and your husband is away on military service.’ I yell.
‘Jin please. You have to believe me. Yes, I know I lied but I do care. I just… I got lonely. Do you know how it feels to be always alone?’ She asks but I scoff.
‘That’s not an excuse. You have a husband Nari. He’s working for your family, probably counting the days to come home to his wife while she goes around *ing someone else.’ I say. I feel my breath quicken as I close my eyes. I pinch my nose bride and I hear her sniff.
‘I am sorry Jin. I never meant to lie to you. I…I care about you so much. I was afraid I was going to lose you but you still had to find out because someone saw us.’ She says and I shake my head.
‘You would have rather kept me blind. What were you going to do when your husband returned huh?’ I ask but she stays silent. ‘Would you have continued to lie to both of us? String us along like two puppets on a string?’ I ask.
‘Jin stop! Please stop!’ Nari cries out, tears spilling down her cheeks. ‘You’re overreacting. He doesn’t need to know. We can… we can hide this. Deny it ever happened. My husband doesn’t need to know.’ She says but I just stare at her. ‘I love you Jin.’ She says.
‘No. I don’t believe you and I don’t think I can ever trust anything you will ever say. You lied to your husband and cheated on him with me. Do you know how that makes me feel?’ I say, almost growling. ‘Used. I feel like * because I just… I…’ I stop, unable to say the words.
‘Jin, please we can work it out.’ She says, approaching me once more. She grabs my arm, holding it tightly, digging her fingernails into my skin. ‘Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone.’ She says.
‘Maybe that’s your problem. Don’t you see, this isn’t love Nari. It’s desire and lust from your side. You just want someone, anyone next to to you so you don't feel alone. You and I are done. We’re over.’ I say but she shakes her head. ‘No, Nari. We’re through and if you really care about me, pray I can find a way to fix the mess you put me in because if I don’t, my career is over.’ I say, yanking my arm away. ‘Lies always have consequences and I hope if you can learn anything from this, it’s that.’ I say as I grab my coat and put it on.
‘Please Jin. Please don’t leave. I need you.’ She says but I just keep walking forward. I open the door and I leave her apartment. I walk fast and as I walk, I feel my own tears falling down my cheeks.
I stop when I reach a bench. I sit down as I let out a breath. The cold air quickly turns into a puff and I sigh, feeling the emotions overwhelming me. I feel sad and heartbroken that she was lying to me and using me. I feel angry at her and at myself for not noticing. I feel ashamed of myself for being the reason why that man is going to get hurt. I feel responsible for the whole thing even if I am innocent since I did not know a thing.
I take out my phone as I see the number of missed calls from the boys and the company. Everyone must be so worried, considering they saw me storming out of the dorm without any explanation. I see a number of messages in our group chat and I sigh as I begin to read them.
Joonie: Hyung, we… we read what happened. Is it true? Is that why you stormed out?
Joonie: Actually, that doesn’t matter. Are you okay? Please pick up our calls.
TaeTae: Jin-hyung are you okay? Where are you?
Hobi: Hyung, you’re not picking up your phone and no one can reach you. We’re really worried, please text us or call us.
Kookie: Where are you hyung? Let me come pick you up.
Kookie: Please, tell me where you are or I am just going to come search for you.
Chim: We love you hyung and we’re here for you, like you’ve always been for us but please come home. We’re really worried about you.
Suga: I know you might want to be alone but you shouldn’t be. Not right now. Please call us or text us so we know you’re okay.
I sigh as I begin to type a single message that yes, it is true and that I am okay but would like to stay alone. In reality – no, I am not okay. I feel like breaking down but I don’t want them to see me like this. I’m their hyung. I’m supposed to set an example – to be strong for them… but how can I be strong?
Good God – the one time I decided to take a risk and follow my heart… Now it makes sense why she always wanted to keep it a secret. She always said she wasn’t ready. She always said she was afraid the media would ruin what we have but those were all lies.
Bang always said we can date and tell fans but he is going to have my head for this. I won’t be able to escape this scandal. How could I have been such an *? How could I not notice? How could she lie so easily to me and everyone else? I sigh as I leave the messaging app and open up Twitter. I sigh as I see the trending hashtags are all about the scandal.
