Two months later…
Two months later, Sakura, Jungkook, and I had been on very few missions. Mr. Kim said that business was slowing down. The three of us have gotten a lot closer since the Squad left. I’ve texted Taehyung everyday since he’s left but he hasn’t replied. I make my way to Taehyung’s secret spot and sit down on the swing set. I pull out my phone and scroll through the texts that I’ve sent him the past couple days.
Me:Taehyung Ik ur probably still mad at me and I’m rly sry. Plz answer meeee🥺🥺🥺
Me:Taehyung plz answer me
Me:Taehyung I’m sry 🥺plz answer me
Me:TAEHYUNG IT’S AN EMERGENCY! ANSWER MEEE
Me: Taehyung plz 😭I miss u
Me: I miss u so much plz answer me
I sigh. He must have been really mad at me to be ignoring my texts. I put my phone in my back pocket and slowly swing, enjoying the weather. After a few minutes, I walk back towards the house. Jungkook’s sitting on the porch.
“Wanna join me?” He asks as I walk closer.
“Sure.” I sit in the chair next to him. “What’s up?”
“I’m just enjoying the weather before it gets cold outside.” He replies.
“Same.” I admit.
“How ya doing?” He asks me.
“Better than yesterday.” I reply. “It gets easier each day. I just hope that when he gets back, he won’t still be mad at me.”
“I’m sure he won’t. He loves you.” Jungkook says.
“You know everyone has been saying that,” I sigh. “But it doesn’t feel that way.”
“Well I’m always here for you when he’s not.” He puts his hand on mine. I look at him and smile, pulling my hand away from his.
“I mean every couple has their fights. And they don’t last forever, right?”
“Most of the time they don’t.” He says. I stand up.
“It was nice chatting with you for a bit.” I say, walking inside. I walk to Sakura who’s sitting on the floor petting Yeontan.
“You ok?.” Sakura asks. I shrug.
“I don’t know.” I sigh. “I just want him to come home so I can apologize. I really miss him.” I fold my arms over my stomach.
“I know you do.” She replies. “I’m sure he misses you too.”
“Then why hasn’t he answered my texts and calls?” I snap at her.
“I don’t know.” She replies quietly. We both sit in silence and let Yeontan. Suddenly, both of our phones ring. The latest news update in Korea. We both open our phones and look at it.
Breaking news
The son of the Korean mafia, Kim Taehyung, just announced that he is breaking up with his girlfriend. He hasn’t revealed her name but he says he is no longer in a relationship with her.
I slam my phone on the floor and stand up.
“Akari-“ I walk away before Sakura can say anything else. She tries to follow me but I rush to my room and slam the door behind me. I knew it. I should never have trusted him. I sit on the edge of my bed, fuming. I can’t believe he did that. Without even talking to me about it. I mean he could’ve just told me he wanted to break up with me instead of leaving me without saying bye and doing it over the news. He didn’t even contact me about it. I roll my eyes as tears fall into my lap. I look at the two promise rings on my finger. I guess he didn’t care. I ripped them off my fingers and threw them across the room. I hate him. How could I have loved him? I hate that. I hate how he made me fall for him, then just left and broke my heart. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him with my heart. I sink to the floor and sob. Harder than I’ve cried in a while. Harder than when my brother died. I cried because I was angry at him for doing this to me. And because my heart is shattered into a million pieces. I pull my knees to my chest and hug them tightly. This was a new type of pain. Not one that comes with a deceased family member, but one knowing that he’s still alive and well, not thinking about me. Not caring how badly this is affecting me. I sob into my knees. Then there was a knock at the door. Probably Sakura.
“Go away.” I demand.
“Akari please.” Sakura says.
“I-I said leave m-me alone. I do-don’t want to talk right now.” I say between sobs.
“I know. We don’t have to talk. I just want to be with you.” She says.
“Fine.” I say. She opens the door and rushes over to me. She wraps her arms around me and I cry onto her shoulder. “I hate him.” I whisper.
“I’m so sorry.” She rubs my back.
“Why? I just..” I sniff and start crying again.
“Shh. It’s ok.” She comforts me. I love my sister so much. She’s all I’ve had since my mother died. The only other woman in the house who understood me.
“I thought…that maybe he d-did….l-love me.” I say between sobs. “But I-i guess I was w-wrong.”
“I know.” Is all Sakura says. For a while, we just sat on the floor, me crying into her arms. She continues comforting me until I finally stop crying. I pull away from her and stare into the distance. “Do you want to go get some ice cream?” She asks me. I chuckle.
“Not really.” I sigh. “I just want to mope around in my room.” I stand up and sit on the edge of my bed. “Thanks though.”
“Akari-”
“I’m fine Sakura.” I interrupt her.
“Well, I’ll be here when you need to talk, ok?” She hugs me.
“Thanks.” I say simply. She walks out of the room and I look at the floor. I pick up Kimchi and set him in my lap. I start stroking his head and he purrs. “Men.” I say to Kimchi. “All men are so stupid.” I complain. “They say they’ll never leave you then what do they do? Leave you.” I rant even though he can’t understand me. “I’m just glad I have you to keep me sane.” I rub my nose against his. I lay down in bed and turn off the lamp, curling into a ball. Night one after the breakup. I close my eyes and cry myself to sleep.
I sit up, hugging my pillow. I look at my phone and see that it’s almost noon. I’m glad no one came in here to wake me up. I slowly climb out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I look into the mirror and see my tearstained face. Turning on the water, I washed my face. Kimchi rubbed his face against my legs.
“Good morning buddy.” I pick him up. “Are you ready for a Marvel Marathon today?” I ask him. He paws playfully at my face. I walk to my closet and pull out baggy sweats and a baggy t-shirt. I’m not in the mood to dress up. I put on my clothes and pull my hair into a low ponytail. Then I grab Kimchi and walk downstairs to get food. When I arrive downstairs, Jungkook’s sitting in the seating area.
“Hey.” He stands up and walks to me.
“Hi.” I smile at him. I really hope he doesn’t say anything about yesterday.
“Do you umm, maybe want to go get ice cream with me later?” He asks shyly. Wow. It’s only been one day since Taehyung broke up with me and Jungkook’s already asking me out. I sigh.
“Sure.” I say. “It’ll get my mind off…you know.”
“Great!” He comes closer and pets Kimchi. “I know you probably won’t move on anytime soon and I totally understand, but I want you to know how much I care about you. I’ll always be here for you if you want to talk.”
“That’s really sweet of you, but I think I’m done with dating for a while.” I sigh.
“I get it.” He says.
“Ok well, I’m gonna go eat breakfast.” I say.
“Alright. I’ll see you later.” He smiles as I walk towards the kitchen.
After eating breakfast, I went back to my room and watched Marvel for the rest of the day. I took Kimchi and Yeontan out in the backyard for a while before I came back inside and went to sleep. For the next couple of months, Jungkook has been taking me out on small dates. I told him I wasn’t ready to date again and he respected that. Sakura says how obvious it is that he wants to date me. I told her that I still love Taehyung and I’m not ready to move on. After a lot of convincing, she finally stopped nagging me about it. Jungkook is really sweet and kind and I know he loves me, but I can’t just abandon everything that Taehyung and I have been through together. It’s tough enough being without him. I miss him so much.
“It’s really nice out here.” Jungkook nudges my shoulder.
“Yeah I know.” I say as we walk down the path towards the lake. “It’s a little chilly though.” I admit.
“Do you want my jacket?” He asks.
“Sure.” I say and he places his jacket around my shoulders. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.” He says. We continue walking in silence. I haven’t walked down this trail since the night of the announcement when I was walking hand in hand with Taehyung. I stop and look at the bench that Taehyung and I sat on. “You ok?” Jungkook asks. “Why’d you stop?”
“Sorry.” I shake my head. “It’s just…” I sigh. “The last time I came here was with Taehyung. And the last time I kissed him was on that bench.”
“You should stop thinking about him. If he really loved you he wouldn’t have left you like this.” Jungkook says, not really making me feel any better.
“Yeah.” I say and continue walking. We finally make it to the dock and sit down, putting our feet into the lake. We talked for a long time and before we knew it, it was dark outside. I laid back.
“The stars are so pretty.” I say as he lays beside.
“I know. My father and I used to sit outside for hours and watch the stars.” He replies.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your father?” I ask. He chuckles.
“Well, he and my mother left me when I was younger. I had to fend for myself for a while until I became a part of a gang. They took me in and then I was promoted to work with Mr. Kim.” He explains.
“I’m so sorry.” I say.
“Don’t be. I’m better off without them. Plus I never would’ve met you.” He says. An awkward silence surrounds us. It’s been months since Taehyung broke up with me but I still haven't moved on. I don’t know if I ever will. He’s my first love. I won’t be able to move on very easily. I sigh.
“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks me.
“I can’t just move on. It’s not as easy as you'd think.” I reply. “So telling me to stop thinking about him isn’t helpful.” I point out.
“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to be rude but-“
“I understand.” I interrupt him and he goes silent. I sigh. “I’m sorry for snapping at you.” I say, holding back tears. “I just…I miss him so much.” I burst into tears. I sit up and turn my face away from him.
“I understand.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder. I lean against him and he pulls me close. I start sobbing into his arms. “It's ok.” He comforts me.
“I wish h-he was here.” I sob.
“I know.” He rubs my back. “Look.” She stands up and holds out his hands for me. I grab his hands and stand up. “I’m not gonna lie and say I’m not slightly jealous of your relationship with him. But I’m not gonna let my pride get in the way of comforting you.” He says, taking my hands. I smile and hug him.
“Thank you.” I say. We stay in each other's arms and I finally calm down. I pull away from Jungkook and start walking back to the house. Jungkook caught up with me and we walked in silence all the way home. Sakura greeted us at the door.
“Hi! I see you two are having fun.” She grins at me and I roll my eyes.
“Whatever. I’m going to my room.”
“Wait.” She stops me. “I need to tell you something but I don’t want you to freak out.”
“Uhh…ok.” Her tone made me slightly worried. “What is it?”
“Well, I overheard Mr. Kim saying how one member from the squad was killed during the mission. He didn’t say the name but he was pretty upset about it.” She informs me.
“What are you saying?” My heart starts pounding.
“I’m just saying, it’s a possibility that-”
“Taehyung’s gone.” I finish her sentence.
“But I’m not sure who it was. So don’t worry.”
“Well, if it’s not Taehyung, it could be Aera or Hyunjin.” I point out.
“I know. But they’ll be home next week is also what Mr. Kim said.”
“They’ve only been gone for like ten months, though.”
“I guess they just completed the mission quickly.” She replies. I nod and head to my room. Jungkook follows me.
“I’m really sorry.” he says, closing the door behind him.
“Jungkook, I know you’re trying to help, but I just need to be alone.” I say. He takes a few steps towards me and I back up until my back hits the wall.
“But you heard what Sakura said. Taehyung might not be coming back. He doesn’t love you so why bother loving him?” He places his hand on the wall beside me.
“You’re really not helping the situation.” I chuckle.
“Yeah, but I made you laugh.” He smirks at me.
“Why are you so persistent?” I ask. “I’m just not ready to date again.”
“I understand.” He replies. “And I’m ok with that.” He looks down at my lips.
“So, why are you still in here?”
“Because I just need to find out one thing.”
“And what is that?” I raise an eyebrow.
“I just need to know if there’s a spark.” He softly kisses me. My eyes widen as he starts moving his lips against mine. I don’t know what to do. If I’m being honest, there is a spark between us. I just don’t know if I’m ready for this. I guess I have nothing to lose. I close my eyes and kiss him back. He smirks when I do and places his hands on my waist. I hesitantly wrap my arms around his neck. He pulls me closer and starts biting my lower lip. He then pulls his lips away from mine and kisses my neck. He bends down a little, wraps his arms around my lower waist and lifts me up. He walks over to my bed and sits down with me in his lap.
“I love you so much, Akari.” He says between kisses. I don’t reply. Honestly, this is just another distraction for me to get my mind off Taehyung. Although I’m slightly enjoying my time with him, I’d rather be talking to Sakura about Taehyung. Jungkook’s hands make their way to the bottom of my shirt. He starts lifting it up. That’s when it hits me. What am I doing? I quickly pull away from him.
“I’m sorry.” I get out of his lap. “I can’t do this.” I look at the floor.
“But I though-”
“You thought wrong. Just leave me alone.” I turn away from him and hear him walk out of my room. I take a deep breath and sit at the edge of my bed.
As I lay in bed with the lights off, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened to Taehyung. Maybe I’m just overthinking it, but I’m worried. I’m still in love with him even if he doesn’t feel the same way. I can’t just stop loving him because someone else loves me. I mean I guess I could but it’s hard. My heart belongs to Taehyung. I also have to prepare myself for when he comes home. I’m sure things will be awkward between us.