• I had been wondering for several days whether I should do it or not, but I still couldn't make up my mind. I knew I couldn't afford to do much more than simply talk to her, and yet I still wanted to see her. I wanted to hear her voice again, and maybe even see her smile. I reached for my phone and opened one of the photos I kept, against common sense. I took a closer look at her pretty face and sighed heavily. I didn't expect to have any feelings for any woman ever again. Not after what happened to me when I was still human. At the mere mention of the suffering I had suffered as a mortal, my hand gripped into a fist. I didn't want to think about it, I didn't want to once again tear up barely scarred wounds. Therefore, I focused again on the picture of our queen. She was so beautiful and seemed delicate, although I was well aware that this was only an illusion. If Seokjin succeeds and our queen chooses him, she will also take over his gift. She will be as powerful as he is, and I knew perfectly well that no one will be able to face them.
• - I'm a total fool - I locked my phone and slipped it into my pocket - if Seokjin hyung finds this out, I'll be a dead man.
• I laughed bitterly under my breath when I realized that I knew from the very beginning that I was going to do it anyway. I remembered the pain that Seokjin had inflicted on me by giving me my first punishment, and I could bet that when he'll discover the truth, he'll punish me again, this time much worse, but... I felt that I wouldn't be able to go back from the path I'd already embarked on. It seemed that even demons, cannot fully control their feelings and also fall into a fascination. Because I hoped that it was just a simple crush and not anything more serious. If what I felt now developed even more, I was almost 100 percent sure that I would find myself in even worse trouble.
• After arriving in front of her bookstore, I parked the car next to it and carefully looked at my surroundings. I couldn't allow myself to run into any of the angels, so I had to make sure none of them were around. In addition, this moment of delay was my last chance to back out of what I was planning to do. It was true, that Seokjin mentioned something about wanting to keep an eye on our queen, but he didn't give us any official order, so I couldn't use that as a final argument in case of a slip-up. I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed deeply. I couldn't back out of it anymore, and I knew very well that I wouldn't regret it, so I got out of the car and took a quick step to the bookstore. I walked inside, but didn't notice Y/n, so I walked over to one of the bookcases and start looking at the titles of the books on it. Several of them turned out to be familiar and I remembered where I had seen them. My older brother had most of the titles I saw on that bookcase. Jungwoo had enjoyed spy novels since he was a child and tied his future to the police. He fulfilled his dream, but nearly paid for it with his life. And it was all solely my fault that my older brother almost died that day.
• - Good morning - I heard her charming voice behind me - maybe I can help you with something?
• - I'd appreciate it - I replied, without turning around - I'm looking for something new, because I already know most of these titles.
• - Do you have any favorite authors?
• - It's just that I don't read books - I replied, before I had time to bite my tongue.
• - But you said...
• - Jungkook - I turned towards her and held out my hand to her - I'm not that old so that you should call me by my first name.
• - Me neither - she laughed and shook it lightly - my name is Y/n, but... do we know each other from somewhere?
• - I don't think so, because I would certainly remember you.
• - Maybe you're right, but... - she squinted slightly, looking at me intently - I have an irresistible impression that I've seen you somewhere before.
• - Maybe I resemble someone - I shrugged my shoulders, feigning indifference, even though deep down I wanted to tell her the truth.
• - It's possible, but let's get back to the topic. You are looking for a book and you know some of these titles, but you don't read them yourself. So do you also want to make a gift to someone?
• - Where did you get this idea?
• - Because I had a client not long ago who was looking for a gift and had very, so to speak, specific taste, but fortunately I was able to help him - she came closer to the bookshelf and carefully began to study the titles on it, sliding her finger over them - well, let's take a look at what's here. This is a new novel by Ken Follet, quite engaging, so you can take a look at it. I also have some interesting novels by Robert Harris, except that the action takes place around World War II, which may not be as interesting to everyone. There are also quite a few young authors, but here you would have to take a look at them yourself and decide if any of them would be suitable.
• - To be honest, I don't know why I'm here - I lied quickly, reaching for one of the books she pointed out.
• - I don't understand. Why do you say that?
• - Because it's my brother who likes this kind of literature and scattered his books wherever he could. They fell under my hands many times, hence I recognize the titles and authors. And now... - I stopped, not knowing how to continue further, even though for some reason I wanted to tell her about it.
• - Now he doesn't do it anymore?
• - I don't know - I put the book down and looked her in the face - my brother has settled in Hong Kong and I have absolutely no contact with him. And I will never have it again, at least not after what I did to him.
• - I understand that something unpleasant happened between the two of you, but maybe just such a gift, will be your olive branch for your brother - she took off one of the books and handed it to me - you can send it to him if you know his address, as a symbol of the fact that, despite the differences, you still remember him. Maybe your brother won't get back to you right away, but it will be a sign to him that you are thinking of him and that you are ready to reconcile.
• - I don't think this will work - I smiled sadly, turning the book in my hands
• - Why not?
• - Tell me, would you forgive someone who nearly got you killed?
• - If I loved him then yes, I would forgive him - she replied without thinking.
• - And my brother probably won't - I sighed heavily - I may have managed to pull him out of the flames at the last moment, but... that doesn't change the fact that this fire was solely my fault and I was the one who put him in danger.
• - He's your brother and probably loves you deeply, so I'm sure he'll forgive you for that - she squeezed my shoulder lightly, looking at me sympathetically - and since you say it was you who saved his life, he'll like to see you even more.
• I stared at her face, not knowing how I should answer her. I saw sympathy in her eyes, and even something that could be considered a sort of sadness and concern, but I knew full well that I would not be able to take her advice. It's true that I saved my brother at the last moment, correcting my mistake, but there was no chance that I could ever meet him. I had absolutely no chance of doing so, because officially Jeon Jungkook had been dead for more than two years. My brother was given a pile of ashes and some teeth that were found in the rubble and which he buried next to our parents. I rescued my brother, but I died in the flames myself, and in fact that's why I was given a second chance. However, I wasn't entirely happy about it at first, because fate decided to play a trick on me and bound me to the cause of my death forever, giving me the gift of wielding fire.
• - Jungkook... are you feeling well? - I was pulled from my thoughts by her quiet voice.
• - Yes, just... memories are not always pleasant - I smiled sadly - but you know what, I'll take this book. I don't know yet what I'll do with it, maybe I'll leave it to myself, or maybe... I'll send it to my brother, but I'll take it anyway.
• - Okay, come on I'll wrap it up for you.
• I followed her to the checkout and patiently waited for her to tally everything up and pack my first ever book. I was never interested in any kind of literature before and shunned books as much as possible. Even in school I relied only on notes from classmates, at least until I fell into bad company. Then everything eventually went downhill and I didn't have much time for any interests. I handed our queen the money and sent her a smile full of gratitude.
• - Thank you for your advice.
• - You're welcome she handed me a paper bag - I don't get to do this often, but I'm glad I was able to help you at least a little.
• - I'll be going, but... - I broke off, biting my lip slightly - would you mind if I drop by here again to chat?
• - I don't promise to always be free, but you're always welcome here - she smiled warmly.
• - Thank you - I reciprocated her smile and headed for the door - see you later.
• I left her bookstore, feeling much better than before when I arrived. I was taking a hell of a risk, but I just realized that I really needed this. On the one hand, I felt that adrenaline rush because I was doing something I shouldn't, and on the other, the warmth I felt listening to her voice. While talking to her, I got the feeling that she was sorry for what had happened between me and my brother, and that she really wanted to help me. As I got into the car, I realized for sure as I talked to her, I was dealing with the angelic side of her soul. Because up until now, I hadn't met any demon who treated me as warmly as our queen did. Well, maybe only Yoongi and Seokjin occasionally had such flashes, but only because they took me under their roof and helped me re-find myself in the world of mortals. She, on the other hand, was the first person who unselfishly showed me a bit of interest and made me feel better just by her presence. And I had to admit that I was extremely grateful to her for that.
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