CHAPTER NINE
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I notice Jay storming away. I did feel bad for him. I was also upset with his trainee mates for making fun of him, too, since he was the only one without a part.
I entered inside with crossed arms.
“You know, you really could have given the guy a part. He seems pretty ticked off right now and is ready to hit the bricks!”
“‘Hit the bricks’?” asked Jake.
“You know…take on revenge.”
“What did we do to him?” Heeseung asked.
“You literally humiliated him and gave him no part! It seems as if he was dumb or something that shouldn’t matter only to you! You think that not giving him a part will help you win this thing. Well, newsflash: that is the world’s stupidest thing that ever happened!”
I stormed away with anguish. I had never yelled at guys close to my age. But it didn’t matter now. I was only upset because of Jay.
I was in the living room, where the huge couch was. And then my phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Y/N!” said a familiar voice.
I knew that my mummy would give me a phone call one of these days.
“How are you? I’ve seen the recent episode. Poor Jay!”
“I know,” I said, “But he’ll work something out with the teammates. I am just preparing for the upcoming test. It’s going to be the theme song and such.”
“I can’t wait to watch! I have to go. I’ll call you back very soon!”
“Yes, Mummy. Goodbye.”
After hanging up, I went back to work on training for the upcoming test. Whilst everyone went to dinner, I snuck to the practice room, where the documents of the chosen parts of the song were. I looked all over the paper. But I received no part. I tilted my head. I was confused.
Okay. Clearly they don’t know the word “equality” around here!
I felt just as angered as Jay was. But it was not a terrible anger. Since it was originally for boys, I thought that maybe I should do my own signal song.
“Then maybe we could throw some competition. This is perfect! I could call up the rest of my friends and we would rehearse a much better song than some boring selected song by the agency!” I said aloud.
But Jake overheard me. I didn’t notice. I couldn’t look back and go out with a lot of suspicion.
But that means they would vote for her every time she passes a test. I-LAND was for boys. Couldn’t they do girls next season?
I didn’t know that Jake wanted to debut as a K-Pop idol as well as me. But my dream isn’t as big as his. I’m just doing what I want to do. He just wanted the perks and the fame. I would have to say there is a tint of forgotten irony in our relationship.
And then, just when I entered the living room, all of the girls in my girl group saw me and circled around me. At first I didn’t know why they were there in the first place. Until I remembered my sub-unit’s unexpected visit that one day. They wanted to form a girl group and a sub-unit. I wanted that to come true as well!
“We missed you so much, Y/N!” said Lara, giving me a tight hug, as always.
“We thought we were never going to see you again after the last time you left the agency.” Juliet added.
“Ladies, I always wanted you all to come here. I think this might actually work out! I think we all will become the best cover artists in the country!”
Everyone cheered once they heard my words. Of course we would have a lot of potential once we reach our debut. But for some reason, I felt this feeling that one or a few of the boys would have some sort of competition with us.
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Jake had been my best friend since the middle of my idol training. I never understood that he could be jealous of me. But that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t support me. He is always there for me. I think…I don’t know…it could be because he doesn’t have a lot of friends in Korea as he did back in Australia. I felt quite sorrowful for him.
Anyways, it was while we were hanging out in the main living room, near the kitchenette, when we were discussing our parts for the signal song of the show.
“So…there we play a very special role in this first test.” I said, explaining the surprise for everyone.
“And that is…?” said Holly, leaning closer to me so that I would repent the secret.
“The surprise is…we are going to be the main backup dancers!”
We might have cheered, squealed, and giggled a little too loud. Because the guys in the practise rooms could actually hear us and our excitement.
As we made our way to the practise room, Lara said in so much excitement, “Maybe I’ll find a boyfriend here and this could turn into a love story!”
And we all agreed to that idea. Except me. Everyone knew that me and Jake were just friends. There was no way a love story was going to bloom out of nowhere. At least…not on the show…right??
The boys left for a break. We had the whole studio for ourselves. Of course we practised our choreography. Then again…we did our own signal song. CROWN by Tomorrow by Together. A lot of us were MOAs. I was too. But I was more of a Stay (SKZ). And at that time, I began liking BTS as well. I had once hoped to have met them there during our time on the show.
After practising, we took a break. I realized I left my water up in the bedroom. As I rushed up there to get it, I found Ni-Ki and K together. And they were speaking in Japanese. And to give you a heads up…I actually am fluent in Japanese.
When I walked inside, they both stared at me, as if they had never seen me with them before. So I stood my own ground.
“Koko ni mizu o oite kita dakedesu. (I just left my water here).” I said.
They looked at me speechless as I took the first sip and walked away. It was as if they had never seen foreigners speak an Asian language before.
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“It was as if they had never seen girls here before!” Hinata said, “At least I saw some Japanese speaking men.”
“Ni-Ki is more for you,” said Livia, “You have been eyeing on him since the day we got here. I remembered you saying that he was the cutest thing.”
“Well…he did have a baby face. Y/N likes him better, I just know it.”
“But don’t you like him too?” asked Jax.
“Yes, I do.”
We were at the fitness room. It felt like a vacation away from training. As I went to get more water, I saw the member Youngbin crying silently, as if someone was hurting him. I sat down next to him.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, holding his hand.
“It’s nothing,” said Youngbin, “I’m okay. Thank you for comforting me.”
“But something is bothering you. That bothers me. Who hurt you? Is someone in the team bullying you, or are you just nervous?”
Youngbin wiped his tears and looked me straight in the eye.
“I don’t want to get in the team’s way,” he cried, “I am sort of blamed for everything. Heeseung thinks I can’t dance because I don’t have the confidence. He can be a bit of a perfectionist, but sometimes he takes it too far, just because he is one of the oldests.”
“May I suggest that you go and talk to him?” I asked as I rubbed the back of his head.
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“We can’t worry about that, right now,” said Heeseung to Youngbin, “If we vote for someone to lead us, then we should trust and follow that person. We are running out of time.”
Youngbin didn’t get the answer he was hoping for, but was glad that he got to talk to him, since I was the one that suggested it.
“It’s fitting that Heeseung-hyung is in the center,” added Daniel, “But you are really good and you are hanging out with those that are good, so the team’s balance is off. That’s what I see, personally.”
“It’s true.” said Heeseung, “On the very first day, I said that I didn’t want to be the leader of the song. I had a feeling that it would lead up to this moment, I guess I must have predicted this. It’s not about completing the choreography, but it is vital we make it look good. I wanted to lead that way. But I couldn’t tell you in advance and I may have planned on my own and got ahead of myself. So… personally, I think it’s best if someone else was the center and not me.”
Everyone looked at each other, as if they were deciding on Heeseung’s decision. I could tell why he didn’t want to be in the position he was currently in. I felt as if he was not ready to take on a big role for the song.
“I really mean it.” he said again.
Silence.
“Let’s try to vote at least once…” said Seon.
“But back then,” said K, “Ni-Ki said he wanted to be the center. So, frankly speaking, we don’t have to vote for that. What do you think?”
“Then if Ni-Ki comes in the center, he leads the rest of us.” Youngbin said.
“Your opinion matters most, Ni-Ki,” said Jay, “Are you all right with it?”
Ni-Ki nodded his head. This young fifteen year old was a fast learner and picked up the choreograph in just ten whole minutes. And now the I-LANDers found their new leader. Riki Nishimura, sister of Kanade Nishimura. And now, Heeseung got the tenth part in the song. However, that meant he only had one line. He struggled to keep this disappointment a secret.
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It was bedtime. I sat on a bed and yawned.
“That’s still my bed,” said Yang Jungwon, “Can I have it back, please?”
I didn’t say a word and let the boy back into his bed. I then laid down with Jake. I didn’t know if I was supposed to share a bed with any of the boys. But I got comfortable and cuddled up next to him.
“Next time, tell me if you get your period again,” he said in a whisper, “I won’t judge. It happens to every girl in the world, you know. Even your girl groups.”
“Did the first time I got it scare you?” I asked.
“Well…I was quite suspicious, but also worried because I didn’t know if you were going to start and if there were any sanitary pads here for you.”
“But there are.”
“And that’s what relieved me. But what concerned me was the fact that you were tired the first few days. It was quite a big difference once it ended.”
I then cuddled up into Jake’s arms. And fell fast asleep.
She doesn’t know that she can’t share a bed and has to sleep on the little couch, he thought, wrapping me around his arms once Geonu turned off the light.