CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
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I took a walk. It was right outside of HYBE.
I passed by Yoojung Sikdang, the very restaurant that BTS went to eat when they were trainees. I noticed all of the BTS memorabilia that was displayed all over. It reminded of what it used to be back in my home in Ireland, when I had TXT and Stray Kids posters.
Now I was a newcoming ARMY. I felt as though that my time was going so fast. Especially that I was a debuted idol, well, cover artist. I entered inside and looked all around. There were millions of posters of the world’s famous septet all over. There were even some on the ceiling!
I should bring the girls here next time, I thought.
The restaurant owner, a happily elderly lady noticed me looking all around.
“Have any appetite?” she asked.
I nodded my head with a soft smile.
She cooked steam rice and a small bowl of noodles. The side dishes were garlic kimchi, raw peas, pot-stickers, and gimbap (which looks a lot similar to sushi). I enjoyed every bit of it.
She sat right in front of me and said:
“Before BTS were an idol band, they would often come here and have dinner. I would serve them this kind of meal. When I saw you walk in, I was thinking, ‘She has to be a fan!’ And here you are…a famous cover artist. I had heard about the breakup. I’m sorry if he ever treated you in such a way.”
“That’s okay,” I said, “I was told that he really didn’t do such a thing. It was another member. It’s just… I don’t know how to forgive him after all of that happened. I want to, but…it’s so hard.”
“Forgiving others is not always easy. But now that you are older, you can decide when you’re ready. I bet right now you aren’t. Right?”
“Mm-hm.”
“Well…I wouldn’t wait too long. But let’s say…give it until tomorrow. Will you be able to do that?”
I thought about for a moment. I had been ignoring Jake for a few weeks now. It was already 2021. I was sure he wanted to walk to me by then. I agreed to the idea and made sure to speak with him by tomorrow.
I walked the rest of the way back to our dorm. But the girls were sat on the couch.
“Y/N!” called Holly, signaling me to sit with them.
I sat down bewteen Lara and Maeve.
“What happened?” I asked.
“So…” said Erika, “Jungkook called me…and said that Bang Si-hyuk is inviting us to go to the Melon Music Awards at the Gocheok Sky Dome on Friday!”
We cheered and clapped.
“Finally,” said Isabelle, “We’re finally getting a second chance!”
“Y/N, we won’t get kicked out this time! It’s true! It’s true!!” said Holly.
I smiled, but then I went outside to the backyard. I then broke down in tears. But they were only happy tears. The girls followed me and embraced me. They understood that I was relieved that we were finally getting another chance to debut properly. Even though we were foreigners, we still need to be respected and treated with kindness. I know not every seems to think that way…but it’s what every single one of us has got to do.
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We were in BTS’s practise room, rehearsing for the song Miniskirt by AOA. Our costume was a white poet shirt and a red pencil skirt that actually zips up on the side, to add a bit of charisma to our performance.
But then, Yeo-rin called me over.
“Y/N,” she said, “Someone would like to see you!”
Mr. Hwa-min entered; the girls rejoiced. It had been a year since we’ve seen him. And yet…there he was. Standing there in front of us practising.
He pulled me aside from the group practise and wished to speak with me. We went outside the courtyard and sat down.
“I thought I would see you debut successfully.” he chuckled.
“Mr. Hwa-min…” I said, “I wondered a lot about you, you know. We haven’t seen each other ever since the 2020 evaluation. When Tae-woo…remarked me about my voice.”
“You still remember that?” Hwa-min smiled.
“Yeah…I do.”
Hwa-min cleared his throat.
“Well…I didn’t think that it was right, the way she had treated you girls. Kanade Nishimura said that she belonged in another workplace. So, I’m having her work here. But of course not for you, since I figured you didn’t want to deal with her again. By the way, she apologizes for the way things have been with her.”
“Just as I expected.” I snapped.
Hwa-min chuckled as I still held a grudge against her, even though I shouldn’t.
“You know,” he said, “She wasn’t always like this. She and her sister used to get along really well. Until, she left for Australia, to find a new life after high school. It was a bit hard, saying goodbye to one of my cousins. But then, Tae-woo took it the hard way and cursed about her under her breath. Apparently, she didn’t want her to study so far away. But I said that it’s her life and that she wanted to live it.”
“Is that why she has been so cruel?”
“Part of it. The rest of it was all because she didn’t want anyone getting in her way and she wanted to be very wealthy and successful, meaning that over time, she became pretty corrupt.”
“How dare she…!”
“I know…once we evaluated you, I couldn’t let you go without your dream being broken. So, I spoke with RAIN, ZICO, Bang Si-hyuk, Son Sung-deuk, and Namkoong Min about your situation and agreed to help you debut. They did agree that Tae-woo deserved to be sternly talked to. But even so, she is in the middle of her forties.”
I snickered after he said that.
“But the real reason is,” said Hwa-min, “I wanted all of you to be happy. And PD-nim wants you to be happy too. We all do. Even your fans.”
“And we were…until–”
“I know,” said Hwa-min, “But Friday is when you’ll make it up to Jake. I know you will get along again very soon.”
Early in the morning, I woke up again. But this time, to go for a jog, so that I would be mentally prepared when I go and talk to Jake.
I went out to the park and ran a few laps around the field. But then, as I tried to run more, I felt fatigue. I felt like I was going to pass out. But I forced myself. That’s right. I was doing it again. I forced myself again.
Back in Ireland, I would usually go for a slow walk with my mum and dad. But now that I was seventeen, I had to think about when to stop and take a break. But I wasn’t prepared yet. I HAD to be prepared. But then, I ran too many laps. And then I collapsed to the floor. Luckily, both Mr. Bang and Hwa-min arrived and carried me back to my dorm. only…I didn’t end up in my dorm room.