CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
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(DAY 5)
Of course we went out shopping. But we had to keep it “lowkey” since there might have been fans. However, we didn’t care about any of it. We were human as well. The truth is…no one knew we were slowly falling in love with each other. And even we didn’t know it.
It was after walking inside one store that so many girls were swarming over us. I held on tight to Jake for dear life. And that was the most terrifying experience that I ever had.
We came home empty-handed and still traumatized that so many girls were following and running and chasing us around. I mean…it’s not all that bad…unless you have the characteristics of a sasaeng, a term that Koreans like to call crazy, not-so-innocent obsessed fans. Jake and I cuddled up on the couch. It was strange because ever since we were in I-LAND, we hadn’t been in touch and close with each other and were too busy training and reaching for our dream. And in five days, that dream was close to coming true.
“Y/N,” he said, gently, “I need you to promise me one thing. Just so that you would know after we debut.”
“Yes…?” I replied, looking up at him with smirking eyes.
“Please don’t change…I want to see the same girl that I once met before I-LAND. I want to tell my fans that I knew a girl named Y/N, and that she was a smart and funny girl that could do anything she set her mind to.”
“I don’t want you to change either,” I said, rubbing his cheeks, “I want to tell my fans that I knew a beautiful and happy boy named Jake. Someone that is gentle and kind and the one that speaks of life to younger audiences.”
Jake’s soft hand cupped my left cheek. He was about to pull me in for a kiss when we were suddenly interrupted by Heeseung.
“We have to go,” he said, panting and quickly putting on a blazer,“Our rehearsal is in an hour!”
We didn’t consider it. Jake pulled me a little closer. Sunoo then sighed lovingly, as if he was a lover of love. And that was acceptable for us. Only…I found that his fandom came from one of the girls: Lara.
As we were waiting in the lobby of HYBE Building, I noticed a black and tan pomeranian puppy staring at me at about four feet away. He tilted his head and then pranced towards me with his tiny paws. I didn’t notice, but he then jumped on my knee, making a light growl. I picked him up and held him high in the air. He was as light as a feather. As I cradled him, he laid his nose on my chest and kept nuzzling my nose.
By then, the rest of the girls were all drooling over him. We were giving him just enough attention for a little puppy. Suddenly, a young man entered and knelt down in front of me, softly smiling.
“This is Yeontan,” he said with a Korean accent.
It was expected, since not everyone can speak English. But this guy seemed to be speaking it perfectly. His face was as pretty as a girl, his jawline was right, and his eyes were bright and sparkly.
I then let him have Yeontan, the name of the puppy. It took us a bit…but we realized that it was Kim Taehyung of BTS.
“Oppa?” I whispered.
Taehyung then carressed my head and he walked away with his puppy in his arms. It seemed he had left all of us girls blushing and squealing. And that was a good thing.
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(DAY 4)
I rested in my bedroom. Holly, my best friend, walked in and sat down next to me.
“You and Jake have seemingly began to get along better now, haven’t you?” she asked.
“You have no idea,” I said, “He was so angry with us from before. I don’t know why he is being so nice to us now.”
“A change in his heart, maybe?”
“You could say that.”
Holly looked away and all around my room. There was no color. It was grey. And I was blue. But it wasn’t really depressing. It was emotional.
“You haven’t kissed him yet, right?” Holly asked, shooting her head towards me.
“What?! No!” I exclaimed, shooting my eyes towards her, “Why would I do that?! He is too fragile to kiss!”
“Funny,” said Holly, “Because I remember seeing you staring at him lovingly that you almost kissed. And that he was starting to give his affection towards you. There has to be some sort of chemistry going on here!”
“There is NO chemistry. Jake and I are just friends.”
“Do ‘just’ friends cuddle each other in the middle of the night, or each other’s cheeks, or hug each other constantly when they’ve done something wrong?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Because I can tell that you have love in your eyes.”
“I had love in my eyes?”
I really didn’t know that I actually began to show my feelings for Jake. And I was thinking that Jake was being questioned like this too. But what if it was true? What if he and I have already fallen in love? Of course it wouldn’t be true to us, but it certainly would be to most of our friends.
At bedtime, I had trouble getting to sleep. The thought of Jake haunted me. And throughout the night, I kept hearing Jake’s voice everywhere. When he yelled, when he softly whispered in my ear, when he spoke to me like an adorable puppy, and so on and so forth.
And eventually, at one in the morning, they abruptly stopped. That’s when I heard violin music playing. I envisioned Jake playing so beautifully. I then realized he was playing the same piece I heard when we were in I-LAND.
As I was dreaming, I heard Hinata’s voice. It went black. That was when I clearly heard Hinata’s voice.
“Y/N?” she said, “Y/N! Wake up!”
I fluttered my eyelids open. I saw Hinata sitting at the side of my bed and frantically patting my back to wake me up.
“What happened?” I yawned, stretching out my arms.
“We have to go! We’ll be late for our debut show practise!”
With that, I sprung out of bed and got dressed and rushed over to HYBE Building.
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(DAY 3)
Hanging out at HYBE felt like training at Dream Life Entertainment. How should have been. No new dance teacher, no one yelling at you, and no more saying that we don’t have a chance to debut. Because we all know that there is a chance for everything.
We then practiced our choreography from our music video. And we were in perfect sync. Back then, we had so much trouble keeping up with each other. It was because of the way we were taught. But now that we were debuting under HYBE, there was a better chance for us to be idols, and cover artists too.
Rehearsals weren’t so bad. There was no extreme dieting and no one to tell you what to do maliciously. It was just us girls living our dream.
While we were taking a break, Jake called me on my phone…again.
I wonder why he seems so needy, I thought, Because… isn’t he a year older than me?
I answered anyway.
“Y/N,” said Jake, “I just wanted to call you and ask you how you were doing. Sorry for interrupting.”
“It’s fine,” I said, smiling, “Me and the girls were taking a break from our practise, so it’s fine. And how are you? Did you and the guys get your costumes yet?”
“We did! And they are so beautiful! We are totally going to have so much fun at our debut!”
“Yeah…” I said, softly becoming saddened, “So am I…”
“Are you all right?” Jake asked, “You seem to be a little depressed now.”
“I’m fine,” I said, “I have to go now, I hope to see you soon?”
“Yup!”
“Okay then…”
I hung up afterward. But I could feel tears in my eyes. I didn’t know why at first. Maybe it was because I felt a bit nervous about our debut. It wasn’t any of that. It was because my love for Jake was intensifying more. And I didn’t think that I would love him that much. And so, I tried to ignore my feelings. But even that wasn’t working either.
That night, Hinata visted my room.
“You know, Holly kept saying you were having trouble keeping your feelings,” she said, “And were they all about Jake?”
I shook my head.
“Why would it be about Jake?” I then defended, “And even if it was, I wouldn’t want to share it anyway.”
“But Holly also said that you have fallen in love with him as well.” said Hinata.
I groaned. Hinata giggled.
When I tried to go to sleep, Jake’s face was always in my mind. It was like I couldn’t unsee it. But now that I’ve looked at it a good few times…it’s pretty clear why I was falling in love with him so much.
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(DAY 2)
Two more days. Two more days.
Our debut was two more days. And we had nothing else to do but panic and frantically prepare everything for Monday, November 30. Everything else was ready. It was just our showcase and live release of the music videos we had to be mentally ready for.
But there was something else. We had another cultural shock. And it wasn’t just me this time.
We were eating out for dinner. A sushi restaurant.
But then, as I was grabbing a piece of salmon from the plate, the boys were gasping and staring at my hand with chopsticks.
“You can’t do that.” Ni-Ki whispered.
The girls were all looking at each other, confused.
“I can do whatever I want to.” I muttered aloud.
“Ni-Ki meant respectfully,” said Jake, “Let’s learn this. In Korea, it’s right to pass a piece of salmon from a pair of chopsticks to a plate, but not chopstick to chopstick. That’s what he means.”
“Well why didn’t you say anything?” asked Erika.
“We didn’t want to concern you too much,” snapped Jay, “Because we all know what you guys are like whenever you get a culture shock.”
Jake scowled at the other 02 (the year of their birth “2002”). Of course he didn’t like the way he was speaking to us. We didn’t like the way that the boys didn’t understand where we were coming from. I felt that Jake was the only one who could understand. After all, he was my best friend.
After dinner, we made a second attempt to go shopping. And this time, no crazy fans were around to swarm over us. It was perfect.
At one point, me and Jake were standing alone, looking up at the moon and stars. We then sat down. Jake was the first to look at me. I a little later. He gently rubbed my cheek with his long fingers. He then used my cheek to pull me in. As our lips were about to touch, we both noticed our company was coming back.
On the car ride home, I felt completely sleepy. It was not because I was exhausted. I felt so relieved that our dream of becoming idols was this close. Two more days. And we would be the greatest cover artists there ever were!
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(DAY 1)
One more day.
We then went to the practise room to rehearse for our dance. And then we were going to KBS Entertainment to form our spaces for the dance. And then, ENHYPEN went after us.
Everything was going according to plan.
In the dressing room, I noticed that the boys had staff members doing their makeup and that me and the girls did not have any staff members of our own. And what really upset me the most is the lack of the attention from the boys’ staff. A day before our debut and we are already being mistreated! That is just messed up!
“Stop the lights,” I mumbled, “And how are we supposed to live ‘comfortably’ if no one is literally going to give us at least slight attention?!”
I was trying to do my makeup when I noticed Jake sitting next to me in the corner of my eye and as I tried to apply eyeliner (which is one of the hardest parts of doing makeup), he sat a little closer. I had a slight diffculty with the black liner.
“Do you need help?” he asked, softly.
I let him sit next to me and help me do the rest of my makeup. And trust me…that boy had experience of makeup before. It was either his mother taught him or he really just was good at applying makeup. For the rest of the day, I could not help but blush harshly. And my love for Jake had reach to a point where I could run to him, throw my hands around his neck, and kiss him. But I couldn’t do that. We were on camera.
But when we took a break, Jake and I were walking closer and closer to each other. And as we were in the middle of the stage, I threw my arms around him. He tried to kiss me…but we were stopped as we heard the director instructing us to get into our positions. So……my first kiss was having to wait until the right time. And I didn’t know when. But I knew he wanted to kiss me that badly. I did as well.
In the evening, we were in my room. As we were finishing the finale of a really good K-Drama, I fell fast asleep as the credits began to roll. I laid my head on his shoulder. He gently caressed my cheeks and kissed me softly on the forehead. Eventually, I felt half of his face on top of my forehead and I slept comfortably.
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(DEBUT)
It was in 2018. Me and my eleven girlfriends first met up at a K-Pop program that let us choose the agency to begin training from. And all of us chose Dream Life. But we didn’t know that training was so intense we all began to slack off on purpose.
Back in Ireland, becoming an idol or celebrity was an overnight sensation. Korea just had to beautify every single thing. I’m not saying this to just be against it, but most think it can get out of hand for a trainee to handle.
We were with Yeo-rin, our manager.
“Before we start getting ready for the performances tonight,” she said, “Is there anything you girls would like to say or what you’ve reflect on during this long-pathed journey?”
“We want to be approachable,” I said, “I want to be the one to study one’s feelings and piece of mind and how a team can do well if we share our thoughts together. And since we are not Korean, it’s going to be hard for us, with a lot of language barriers that’s been going on between us and the boys.”
“And age doesn’t matter for any leader,” said Lara, “If each of us can accept a shortcoming, while working to improve each other’s shortcomings, I think that Y/N would be would be able to lead us well and to trust us.”
That night was the night of our official release of our music videos and us singing the songs live in front of millions of fans. It was while I was looking at the audience, filling in the seats when Jake patted my shoulder.
“Y/N,” he said, softly with a smile, “I just want you to know that I am really proud of you and how far that we both come. Both ENHYPEN and your girl groups.”
“Jake,” I said, “We both promised to debut together, at the same time.”
“And that dream had already came true.”
He pulled me in and kissed me officially. And then he and his boy band went up on stage to perform their debut song and we waited until ours. But I tilted my head in confusion.
Weren’t we supposed to go first?
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Hey there, you pretty boy (Pretty boy)
You’ve caught my eye right now! (Let’s get it started)
The ideal back view (Yeah-huh, yeah-huh)
I keep being drawn to you because I want you (Hey, every time I see you)
Your eyes twinkle twinkle
My heart is dancing round and round
I send you a sign
Pink colored color
Telepathy wing - wing!
My heart grows bigger yesterday and today too
It’s frustrating, it’s a night where I’m the only one bursting out inside
Why are you the only one who doesn’t know?
Turn up the signal
I can’t get my mind off you
This is like gravity
Now you too are attracted
Caught and cut off
Can you hear me, my lover sign
Increase your sensitivity makeup (makeup)
Caught and cut off
Don’t miss it, over time
hurry send you to me
You’re my boy
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Wi-Fi
Londoners!
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Wi-Fi
Tell me, darling
Tell me, darling
What the hell is that?!
I keep getting curious about you!
Even if I try to narrow the distance,
I just show more of me!
Why do you, why don’t you know?!
I was fascinated by your charm!!
(Hold up, hold up!)
Don’t hide, just show up right in front of me!
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La
I have a high arrogance,
I can’t manage my facial expressions!
La La La La La La
La La La La La La La
Do you still not understand?!
Turn up the signal!
I can’t get my mind off you!
This is like gravity, baby
Now you’re being attracted too!
Caught and cut off
Can you hear me, my lover sign
Increase your sensitivity makeup (makeup)
Caught and cut off
Don’t miss it, over time
hurry send you to me
You’re my boy
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Wi-Fi
Londoners!
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Wi-Fi
Tell me, darling
Tell me, darling
It’s late, hurry, hurry, hurry!
Enter your Wi-Fi password and call me!
(Password mismatch)
Oh, think about it carefully!
20, 18, 07, 18
Yes! Ok! Whoo!
Urrr peek-a-boo yeah!
Come a little closer to me!
One, two, tres, quatro
(Yeah) I got caught and I got hung up
Can you hear me, my lover sign
Increase your sensitivity makeup (makeup; Increase your sensitivity)
Caught and cut off
Don’t miss it, over time (don’t miss it, baby)
hurry send you to me
You’re my boy
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Wi-Fi
Londoners!
Let me show you my special world
Try tuning the frequency a little more... to my sign…!